thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
my liver is dry heaving
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
