Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm at about main and main street
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
