I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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