you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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