so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
