You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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