What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
