what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
