Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
