Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
time to smoke my breakfast
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Houston, we have a blender
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Randomize
