I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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