You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
