true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
