Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
