I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
