she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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