did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
