Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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