My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
