Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
