The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
