I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
