I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
