So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
