Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So vagazzling was a success
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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