STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
