my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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