At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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