Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
