So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
