after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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