Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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