Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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