Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
