Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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