i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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