If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
