I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
