her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
