Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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