Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
