I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
