Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
