Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
