I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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