he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
