Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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