I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
