I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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