My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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